Wake up.

When i woke up from surgery i felt the depths of true healing. I felt the unloading of lifetimes, of pain and suffering. My mothers mother, and her mother, and my mother they all had PMDD. Within my own healing I knew with unspoken word that i had healed this “Karmic” suffering. I knew I would not have children, and that I would become the last to hold this imbalance, this accumulation of “trauma”. when defined, known as PMDD. Within my own grief and knowing, I felt a sense of peace at the same time. The right decision, for me, was not easy and in fact cost me my own “idea” of what I thought I deserved and what I thought my life would look like. For me, the sacrifice of no children, as a women, the grief I had to work through, the shame, and the trust and the self love that i had to cultivate to find true acceptance. The sacrifice of my own Uterus and Ovaries became my Ultimate Healing. I have learned through experience that Healing Looks and feels and is every imaginable or unimaginable experience. That healing is not always what we “think” its going to be or look like. We must stay open to the abstract, we must stay open to thinking and feeling outside of the box, outside of what we have been taught. Uncovering and realizing that core self